Light in the dark
by ariyannajigoukshoujo34
Summary: This is my story after he passed away what's to become of me now that I know that I can't see him anymore...his name won't cross my lips until i'm truly ready to accept the fact that he's dead and buried...I can't stand the thought that my London won't be the same not without him I have my friend John and Ms. Hudson and my elder sister Molly but still the picture isn't complete.
1. Chapter 1

Light in the Dark

Chapter 1

The December sky was bleak and dreary as it always had been, especially now since _**he **_passed away, what a way to go, jumping off a building. Damn that man! He's such a fool! A- sorry, forgive me, getting off on the wrong subject.

As I was saying, ever since he passed away nothing was really the same in London.

"Lucy are you alright? You sitting in his chair, writing again?" I heard a voice say as a male figure came in through the door that led to the stairs,

"John…" I craned my neck around to see the short blonde haired doctor, who was a good friend to me, my elder sister Molly and him, of all people they were the world's best friends.

"Something wrong Lucy? Feeling sick again?" He asked genuine concern in his eyes as he looked me over. Yes it was that in the few weeks after his death I had started to notice changes in myself, for instance I had been craving all kinds of foods as well as I had also been getting sick, my stomach just would not let me keep anything down…and to top it off, I was sensitive as all bloody hell,

"I don't really know." I replied as I looked him in the eye, putting my pen down and journal aside,

"To be honest with you Lucy I would like to exam you. Your sister asked me to do so she is rather worried about you." I listened and gave a small nod of my head indicating that I fully agreed, if my sister was worried then I knew I had to do something about it.

"Here since I don't live here anymore, my new address, please stop by about noon." He said as he pulled out a card and handed it to me and I smiled slightly,

"Thank you John." I replied as he then got up, nodded to me and headed towards the door. He then stopped, hand on the doorknob and looked back at me,

"You know I miss Sher-"

"Please…just don't mention this name just yet. I still need a little more time John…" I cut him off before he could even say his full name, my eyes connected with his, pleading with him,

"Alright, I won't promise." He replied as he came over and placed a kiss on my forehead and then finally turned and headed out the door and down the stairs. My hands ran over the arms of his favorite chair, my eyes brimming with tears as they finally spilled over down my cheeks as I then cried myself to sleep curled up in a tight ball not once moving the whole night.

_'Sherlock!' _ My eyes opened up wide as I jolted from the chair I was resting on, a blanket from my shoulders fell to the floor. I put a hand to my cheek trying to reclaim my normal breathing

"D-damn that dream again, why won't it just leave me alone." I questioned as I leaned back in his chair and looked over at the fallen blanket on the ground.

"Oh Ms. Hudson must've put it over my shoulders last night, god bless her." I smiled to myself as I got up and quickly folded the warm blanket and placed it on the base of the arm chair and walked towards the bathroom.

An elderly figure started walking up the stairs towards Sherlock's room a smile on her face like always,

"Oh dear me, that girl has got to leave soon, John is waiting." She said to herself as she got to the top and opened the door.

"Lucy dear are you ready it's 11:30 your appointment dear."

"Y-yes Ms. Hudson, I'm ready just getting rid of some waste." I replied as I wiped my mouth and stood up from hovering over the toilet, and walked out to the blonde elderly women standing in the doorway, the same concern in her eyes as John held the day before.

"Don't worry I'll be fine, John will find out, he's a good doctor." I smiled to reassure her, not knowing what to expect really.

"Oh your right dearie, now go on can't leave our good doctor waiting." She replied as she came over picking up my jacket, stopping in front of me holding it out, I gave a nod taking it and received a small kiss to the forehead.

"Be safe dear…" She told me as a soft smile graced my lips as I headed to the door.

I made my way down the street, damn it was bloody cold even though I wore my favorite winter coat,

'_Ooh…' _my eyes widened as I stopped and turned rather quickly. I knew that ring tone, it was the same one that Irene Adler or aka The Women put on his phone as a text warning.

"I-it can't be…" My eyes scanned everywhere but still more disappointment,

"Damn…" My eyes began to well but I blinked them away as I heard a door open up behind me,

"Oh good, Lucy there you are right on time." John said from behind me as I turned smiling.

"Thank you John." I replied as he moved to the side and let me in.

"Alright let's do this, first I need you to pee in a cup." He said as he closed the door behind him.

"Of course like every examination." I chuckled taking the cup from him and put my jacket down and headed to the bathroom.

It felt like I had been sitting there for hours, waiting for him to finish. The physical part was completed but now we were just waiting for the analysis of my urine to show up.

Then all of a sudden John turned towards me after looking at his laptop screen for a while,

"Well John what did it say, what's wrong with me, why am I sick?" I asked so many questions running through my mind.

"You're pregnant."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"P-pregnant? A-are you serious?" I couldn't even fathom the thought at the moment, my mind was completely blank.

"I've check it twice and it's not lying." John replied as my hand flew over my lower stomach resting there,

"I can't even begin to imagine it I'm only 21…"

"You're about 2 months I say judging. Lucy who did you even sleep with? I thought you were single." John asked as I looked down slightly trying to think back.

My eyes widened slightly before I bit my lip and looked back up at him,

"Well Lucy?"

"H-him…" I couldn't help but blush and look over to the side very high school like of me. John's eyes widened in disbelief as he almost went back off his chair,

"W-what really? You mean he actually slept with another human?" I giggled slightly and nodded, I knew what he was saying, he was an asexual man married to his work and his work alone, so why we even slept together, I don't even really know how it happened.

"I guess it was just a spur of the moment…" I replied as I then stood grabbing up my jacket

"Are you going to be alright? Knowing your carrying his child?" He asked me as I had my back to turned to him,

"Yes John I'll be fine, I'll love the child no matter what.."

"I know you will and you have all of us to help." John smiled a little as I gave a nod and walked towards the door.

The day continued to roll by as nothing else happened, no phones ringing nothing, just a quiet day.

"Dear are you up here?" I heard Mrs. Hudson say as she came up the stairs since I decided to leave the door open,

"Yes I'm here…" I replied from the couch, my arm was over my eyes just listening to the sounds of silence

"Everything alright? You haven't said anything since you got back from your appointment, what did you find out love?" She asked as I put my hand over my stomach where my child lay nested within the protective walls of my womb,

"Yes…" I slowly replied

"Well tell me love," I then exhaled and worked up the courage,

"I'm pregnant…"

"Oh my lord, oh I'm so happy for you dearie, Sherlock would be so happy." She replied, of course she would, but when she said his name the tears just broke out, I couldn't handle it, I got up and bolted out the door and left.

"Lucy!" I heard her call out but I didn't want to stop, I ran.


End file.
